15.9.11

Emo post


I'll admit, this was suppose to be an emo post. I planned, as I turned my laptop on, to release my pent up frustration over myself in the form of a blog post. I wanted to let out all those stupid thoughts, thoughts that creep up to me and pounce like dark robbers of all that is good. And just as I was in this mad delusion of dark thoughts, more problems come up, clamouring for attention. It was about all I could stand. It was just one of those moments in my life when I felt as if everything I did and am doing are all hopelessly wrong, that the world around me is moving forward constantly with me just standing still. A moment when I feel completely lost with no sense of direction. No knowledge of where I'm going, where I was now, what I was then. I was quite ready to take a flying leap over the balcony, headfirst just to make sure the cavern in which all evil from within me resides reaches the hard ground first. All jokes aside.

But then a call came. A call with a warm voice; gentle despite its own exhaustion, kind regardless of its own tired needs.
And suddenly, the world and I seem to be moving forward together again.


I don't think even God knows how much I love you Esmond. No, I don't think He does.