25.3.12

Christmas related ramble :D

Hello everybody, how has the weekend been? Mine has been quiet but quite full of assignments. I had a whole Saturday by myself so I had the music on loud and I just lost myself in the realms of assignments, working from afternoon till bedtime. I'm happy with the fruits of my labours, though I still have a long way to go before completion for some. I'm right on schedule, so that is something =D.

The weather now is nice and grey. One deep sniff tells me that rain is hovering close by. It's one of those cool days when the sky is cloudless and colourless. It makes me think of the nothingness in The Neverending Story. Skies like these are as close to what I can imagine what the Nothing would be. It "feels as if one has turned blind/ because the eye cannot stand to look at absolutely nothing".

It also reminds me of Christmas, for some odd reason. Lol. Oh dear, sweet Christmas day. I don't think I can ever get out of this love-hate relationship with you, ever. 
It just occurred to me to read back all my December posts, and I realized, much to my disappointment, that none of them were very lighthearted or joyful. Not to say that I did not have a good time on the day itself, of course. I did, to a certain extent. But somehow I seem to rant more about Christmas than I do burbling and getting all excited about it.
Probably the nicest Christmases was when I was a lot younger, when Christmas actually felt real. It feels to me that Christmases of the more recent sort are about hopes and disappointments and frustration. And I'm not talking about presents. 
It's still a beautiful time of the year, though. The very best, if I could say so. But maybe it's only so much more beautiful because it is gold gilt and cinnamon-spiced in my mind's eye. It's not quite as seasonal as that in my reality. 

Why, though? Why is it that I get all emo when I should be celebrating the time my life began? I used to think it was because my birthday served as a reminder that I had to return to school for a new term. I'd always always thought that once I left high school my life would be perfect and I could celebrate my birthday in peace. Not that I did not expect university, but I'm enjoying uni life, so what is there to hold me back? 

Maybe it's because my birthday is too close to the end of the year, and I don't like to be reminded of times ending. Maybe I need to remind myself more often that 'beginnings are good times', as Dodie Smith wrote.

It's too early in the year to have a Christmas related post, haha. It's the day of gray I'm having. It'll pass.

On the bright side, inspiration has finally bit me in the bum! I now have a fairly good idea of what I want to have for my blog header =D. Now all I need is to find time to make something out of my rough sketches and this blog will be looking pretty in no time.

I wonder how this year's Christmas will be. I shall resolve to enjoy this one if I can. After all, if we can celebrate Christmas this year it means the end of the world has been avoided =D. Enjoy the rest of the weekend, everybody.