26.7.11

Hating

The first few moments of waking up after sleeping. You get this stupid feeling of being awake and yet cobwebs of sleep are still all over you. Trapped between two worlds of dreams and reality, so that when thoughts come into your head it's difficult to tell which are real and which are just figments of your imagination.
You move through the reality of chores and routines with mechanical rigidness; with short, jerky movements, getting the job done almost intuitively instead of actually thinking about it. So that later when you think back you get the feeling as if you haven't done something when you actually have.
When you sit down you get an odd, restless feeling as if time is moving to quickly and there are so many things to do, so many tasks to complete, so many ambitions to achieve. As if the brief respite has sent you hurtling into the future and you've lost ten years off your youth.

Maybe it's due to the time of awakening. One of the worst times possible to wake from a nap, in my opinion. It's that moment when it's neither day nor night, when light battles a dying war, when it's final majestic rays lay sinking in the horizon and darkness takes its place in the sky.

And that is why I hate twilight.




At this time of the day I sometimes feel as if the sun will never rise again.