1.5.09

A Reason

Why I think I'll be single for the rest of my life.

I dislike commitments. I don't like getting tied down to something permanently. And that's extremely ironic, because sometimes I just want time to stop and for things to stay as they are forever. Is there a difference to that I wonder? Hm. Whatever. But, yes, that's just how humans are. Twisted in every fucking way imaginable.

I can tolerate you. Once. Twice. Three times. Maybe more, depending on my mood. But make it a daily habit and I will ignore you. Particularly if you're not very close to me to begin with. Don't ask me why. I can't even understand it myself. It's just me being craptastically retarded.

But, saying that, don't even bother expecting me to apologise because I sure as hell won't.

Teenagers these days. Pfft.

I curse whoever who came up with the whole theory that 'being emo is effing cool and it makes me different from everyone else because no one ever understands me'. I curse that person to complete and utter hell.

In this screwed up world of individualism, being what is considered 'normal' makes you stand out most in the crowd.

The search for individuality has given birth to very very very selfish brats who only think of themselves. The very phrase 'no one understands me' says it all.

You can't expect me to give you 100% attention everytime you ask for it. You can't expect the phone/computer/anything and everything else to be waiting upon you 24/7.

We all have our own lives. Live it to the fullest. I know lots of people who would like to be given the chance to live again. Unfortunately they're dead and buried 6 feet under. Don't screw your life up on the pretext of 'wanting to be different', feel sorry for yourself and think that 'no one understands you', then go round whining about it to everyone else. That's not fair for anyone.

You made yourself difficult to understand. Or rather, you make molehills into mountains, and when someone points out the truth, you brush it off by saying 'you don't understand'. Because you're pissed off that someone found out you're just being an over-exaggerated little piece of shit. The truth hurts. Face it. You brought it down on yourself in the fucking first place anyway.

I've learnt from painful first hand experience that if you want something, you go get it yourself. You don't just sit around moping and waiting for someone to notice you and shower you with attention. No one will. As my wonderful teacher once pointed out bluntly, 'you're not as important as you think you are. You think people will look at you? Of course not, they have their own lives, they have far more important things to do'. You won't just end up being on top of everyone's priority list. You can't expect everyone to make you their most important person in life. You have to work for it, and prove that you are worthy of such an honorable position. And sitting in a corner and waiting for someone to look in your direction is not the way to go.



.... What the hell is the point of this post I wonder?....