I amaze myself a.k.a a Sunday adventure

I amaze myself with my ability to remain calm during panic-stricken situations.

Maybe it was the shock. Yeah, has to be the shock. I mean, seriously. I swear to God I have not in the least bit idea how it happened. One moment I was standing up (I even remembered telling myself to wait for the bus to come to a complete stop before I stood up) to get off the bus. Next moment I was opening my eyes and I see a whole buncha people freaking out around me. And all they could say was 'Omg so much blood x10000'. Pfft. Oh come on. I haven't even got to that yet. Though I did manage to notice that them red stuff was all over me. On my head and face, my hands and arms, all over my shirt (damn, I bet that L4D shirt never looked better, lol), even on my jeans. Wonder where that all came from.

Told myself I had to remain calm. No point freaking out with everyone else (and I even remember thinking if I were to start crying I'd choke on my own tears and that'd suck balls) and going hysterical. I don't know where all that calmness came from, but I thank the heavens it was there and it still is. Called Cat, and when she was there she was panicking too (only the dear Lord knows how bad I feel about panicking all these dear kind souls). And that sweet man behind me who loaned me his jacket, THANK YOUUUU. I have no idea how to thank you T^T. When some weirdo getting off the bus in front of you just collapses and you jump to her aid...talk about herottitude. Anyways, the management came up with a nice little minivan and sped Cat and me and me bloodied belongings (didn't realize just how bloody till later...am still in wonder that all of that came outta just one being) to Serdang Hospital ER. Had to go for Xrays, tetanus shot and stitches for an 8cm cut on me upper left forehead. Dear Lord, HOW did THAT happen?! O____o. Somewhere along the waiting way Esmond came (only the dear Lord knows just how much better that made me feel). But...seriously. All along the way, no fear, no nothing. In a way, thank God for shock? =S.

One thing I sure as hell knew I was afraid of. I was afraid of not being able to see those faces one more time and tell them I loved them. Never in my life did I once get that feeling, or thought I'd have someone to have that feeling towards. Now that I do I really really don't want to have to feel that way again.

7 sutures. The guy who did it for me jokingly said twas the 7 Wonders of The World LOL. It's gonna hurt as if all them 7 wonders were falling on me when I take them all of, I bet D=. And I'm this one step closer to getting the skinhead/mohawk of my dreams. Oh the ironies of it all.


Anyway, to all you out there who helped me out and spared me a thought and a prayer, big big big thank you to you guys. It makes me feel a lot better to know that all of you care ='). Love you guys. I'll definitely heal at super instant-noodle speed at this rate, lol.

Sometimes you can't get all that you want

8D

so you just gotta make do with what you already have.

Yeah, talk about sooper colourful shoes right? I guess I should be eating my words when I said I'd not get any other pair but the Koinoboris =P. But tis the love of me lovin' parents, so who am I to say no, right? XD. And talk about drenched in colour! Reminds me of my own works of long ago. Oh how faraway those times feel when I'd be hunch over me desk colouring away in me happy little world. Good times man, good times =D. Keep the productivity up Joanne~! You gotta keep those creative juices flowing and keep working to create that next big drowned-in-colour shyt you're apparently so good at doing XD.

I guess it is normal to come across occasional hiccups now and then. It's okay, isn't it? Nothing's perfect. If you're going to find out all the similarities, it's inevitable that you'd find out the differences too. And if you can accept and rejoice in the first it's only fair that you do to the same with the latter. That's what I think anyway. I can't expect every single Tom Dick and Harry (why this three names by the way? I've always wondered. I think in an average individual's network of acquaintances, I doubt they know even one person named Tom Dick or Harry =/) to be able to think and accept things the way I do. If such was the case the world would be a very very warped place indeed.

Then again, I might just flip =/


Such a cool grey day. One of those days when you feel like doing nothing much but zone out and wait for the rain to come down and drown out all the worries, all the nonsensical fears, all those nagging doubts from your heart and mind.

Wheeee~

And I'm back for the weekend! 8D. Going to be a crazy 3 days...got a cwapload of assignments to complete, most should be able to be finished quickly if I set my mind to it and get my ass working XD. It's all fun, yeah. It should be, supposed to be, will be. No complaints =D.

Got so many interesting things that I want to try out in regards to photography. It's not something quite so static; or should I say it's the static-ness of photography- the fact that there is hardly anything to create because it's all about the things that are already there- that pushes the photographer's creativity to the ultimate level. You have to think and look from all angles and manipulate everything in your surroundings in order to achieve near-perfection. I'm in awe at the ingenuity of photographers, and from hard work I hope to be able to grasp all those $k!lLz one day myself =D.

Gosh, when and why on earth did I start spelling $k!lLz like that?! Lol.

Anyways, start and complete them fancy assignments and I shall have more time to experiment and enjoy. I shall return with more rambles later =D.

Random odd thought

Sometimes there are those people in your life when you've known them for so long you forget what they look like.

And when I say that, I don't mean like you forget how they look like, or they become unrecognizable. No, it's probably the other way round. You've known them for so long you actually disregard how they look like entirely. You're completely immune to their facial features. Their faces are burned into your memory.

But when you look at their pictures -really look at them- you begin to wonder: how on Earth do I recognize this person? What is it about their face that makes me remember them as they are? How come, back then when we were little, I stared into your face on a daily basis, and now, right now, looking at your photographs I can hardly say I knew you?

How much do I know of you now?

Funny, what time can do to you. You could be inseparable in that one moment, next second it's like two completely separate beings, walking side by side and yet never touching. It's like that old saying about the place between Death and Heaven and Hell, when all familiar ties are torn apart. So that you could be staring at your family member, your lover, your friend in the face and though you think you know them, whatever feelings you had for them on Earth are completely void. You see them as someone you knew before; other than that it's just an empty empty shell.

Why do we need to put that belief into Limbo when it's already happening here on Earth?

決して忘れない

I'm not fond of saying goodbyes. Then again, I'm sure nobody is.

Twas fun though. Super awesome crazy fun. Sitting down chilling, laughing our heads off ("pass me the remote KONTOL"), going places, eating, eating, laughing, more eating, random animals with short lifespans (and the load of nagging that came with each pet), yet more eating, more laughing....

They were one of the best memories of the beginnings of uni life, they were. One retard less is going to make things very very different indeed.

Am gonna miss you and your retardedness, retard *sigh*.

Random thought

...

Don't know about you, but I think it is something like human nature to want to be different from everyone else. Humans search so hard for that one thing (or two) that sets them apart from all their peers; from the people around them. So that they will be...remembered? Recognized? Respected? The list of possibilities are endless as to how or why people just want to be 'the one'. So if a chance to stand out just happens to pass them by, whether it be related to them or not, they'd jump right at it, drag it into their snares and claim it theirs.
It's funny, how some people react. Beforehand they knew probably the chance by just a fleeting glance of the face. Next thing you know they're making a big hoo ha and boohoo she was so important to me, bla bla bla. Oh come on, don't exaggerate. She wouldn't like it either. She'd probably call you a pathetic bitch or something, lol. But it is pathetic, this attempt to be 'different'. You take someone's anguish and loss and claim it as yours, hoping to add some sort of battle scar from life that you can proudly wear on your arm and show off to other people so that they can stare at you in awe and think you amazing. God, it's so revolting.
Then again, it's hard to perceive what's what. In this time and age, the littlest thing with the slightest inclination to the idea of being selfishly 'emo', whether it being genuine or not, would make the purists think negatively anyway. One mention of it and it'd be almost as if you've committed Hell's greatest sin. In that sense I think the purists should just shut up and open up. How long do you want to keep it in?
But. That said, the purists who kept their sleeves rolled right down and their hearts in the right places, they I admire most. Because those are the strongest and the bravest of all in this skirmish of life.

Hm.

Maybe I'm just the same as everyone else. When was the last time we actually had a long friendly conversation? When was the last time we exchanged jokes and teases and smiles, none directed at one another in a sarcastic way? The memories I have now are from waaaaaay beyond, back in the days when everything was happy and pure and innocent. If I looked at that extreme past and the more recent past, it'd be like two entirely different sets of people, a completely new pair of weirdos- two parallel lines walking side by side with occasional bumps into one another.

It's one parallel line now.

Maybe that's why I didn't want to say anything about it, not until now when I just think back to certain people and get unnecessarily irritated by them. I don't feel like I deserve the honour to go wailing and boohooing and all that (though I believe some lesser deserving individuals have done just that). I wouldn't like other people getting unnecessarily irritated at me and honestly speaking, I think I'd have disgusted myself too. For not trying and then being a pathetic, whining thing about it when all is too late.

Saw something on tv yesterday when this guy was saying time heals all wounds. And that that was complete and utter bullshit. Because, years later, thinking back about it, you're still going to remember and hurt. And you're still going to feel that ache in your chest you thought time already erased. Those tears you thought time wiped tenderly away from your eyes will still well up. Those words you wished you said, those things you wished you did, all of them are still there in your mind, bright as day, almost as if the events of the long past took place only yesterday.

Regret is still there. I feel it right here.



This has been a nice, self-contradictory ramble from someone who has been sitting on the fence all this while.

=)

There are good days and bad days.

These two days were really good days.